Due to private circumstances, I am currently unavailable. I expect to reopen my calendar around mid-February 2025. If you would like to be informed about this, please leave me a message.
Wegens privé-omstandigheden ben ik momenteel niet beschikbaar. Ik verwacht mijn agenda weer te openen rond half februari 2025. Als je hierover geïnformeerd wenst te worden, laat dan een bericht voor me achter.
8 Comments
Rachael Gottesman · October 12, 2022 at 6:43 pm
Original thought I questioned during partnering:
He’s attracted to me.
TA: I’m attracted to him:
– I loved being pursued and wanted
– I loved the feelings he evoked in me
– I loved being gazed at and looked at in a sexual way
TA: He’s not attracted to me:
– he’s attracted to sex
– he’s attracted to his feelings when he feels sexual and turned on
– he didn’t really know me- I was busy hiding and not sharing myself- he talked A LOT
TA: I’m attracted to me:
– I was wearing a cute outfit and loved the feeling of being cute and attractive
– I loved the feeling of being turned on and alive- those were my feelings
– when I go back to that original situation I’m much more interested in looking at me- I’m attracted to getting to know that young girl not the man in the car. I’m not really interested in or attracted to him.
marijketops · October 13, 2022 at 8:35 pm
<3
Helga Birgisdóttir · October 13, 2022 at 1:17 am
“Mom wants to control me”
Situation: I’m standing in my room in front of my closet. Mom is shouting at me to change clothes and wear some (uncomfortable) wooden clothes. I was around 10.
TA. “I want to control mom
– want her to be different
– to stop shouting
– to show her caring in a different way; be calm and nice, speak kindly
TA: “Mom don’t want to control me”
– she don’t see it as control – she wants to protect me from getting cold
TA: “I want to control me”
– I want me to change – be a better daughter. I want to ‘do it right’ so I can have peace.
– I want me to fix this stressful situation. War in my mind; shall I obey her or not?
– I’m scared with my mom and I don’t want her to know it. I’m confused about my feelings; anger, fear, loneliness, helplessness. I want to feel nothing.
TA: “Mom wants to free me”
– She shouts at me and give me orders – BUT she don’t force me or lay hands on me. I saw clearly it’s my CHOICE how I respond and if I obey her demands or not. She showed me that I’m always free!
– free me from getting cold
– free me of my guilt; her feelings are not my responsible. She shouts a lot – its her ‘normal’ behaviour. Her feelings are not my business.
Up til now my mom (82) still shouts a lot at me – and because how stressful and guilty it make me feel I avoid her.
I see clearly now it’s all innocence – and she’s probably not aware how hurt, guilty and stressful I feel. As I see it now we’re both crying out for love and acceptance.
marijketops · October 13, 2022 at 8:35 pm
“We’re both crying out for love and acceptance” So much love and compassion in these words <3
Nanou Anne · October 14, 2022 at 5:48 pm
yes <3
Kim Kaufman · October 13, 2022 at 3:08 am
I am feeling confused and overwhelmed. I don’t remember doing any partnering breakout sessions last time! I do remember working with an nnocent thought. I can’t even remember the stressful thought I started out with, or the entire trail it took me on to land where I landed which seemingly had nothing to do with where I started. Things seem to be unlocking that have long been stuffed. I’m reminded of some work or a phrase on “the body keeps score” or the body remembers something along those lines…..Even my chiropractor said to me this week when I saw her that some of what I’m dealing with is trauma being held in the body. Seems the work never ends!!!
I was surprised by where the exercise took me. To a memory long forgotten and opened up deeper shameful situations.
The thought I landed on for the Judge Your neighbor worksheet was
I was terrified of Jim because he knew a dark secret:
TA – Jim doesn’t know a dark secret:
“secrets” out – it’s not dark any more it’s out in the light to be seen
He didn’t have the situation correct – there were nuances of the situation that were told incorrectly
I never confirmed or denied what he confronted me with, so Jim may not know anything at all
TA -I know a dark secret
True becasue it is now out in the open for me to see and feel/heal – seeing what I was trying to forget
I know a secret about the person that betrayed the confidence – that she can’t be trusted
I know a Light Truth
yes it isn’t as heavy as I had believed it to be
The fear of the situation being known is far greater than how it feels being exposed.
Don’t have to carry the burden of it any more
There were other turn arounds, however, I wanted to share something I found interesting. When I started working with “who would you be without the thought”, I didn’t see or feel a bunch of positive things. I felt the shame and pain and rage that was there even before this situation. Allowing time to feel the feelings that were there in that place (the situation). Allowing them for the first time ever. Then questioning other beliefs for a moment so I could get in and see something else was quite helpful. It was like slowly working my way inward – guided beautifully by Marijke, Thank you!,
Writing this homework assignment was very much like the work I did – starting one place and ending up somewhere else! But really ALLOWING that to be here.
I have been feeling stuck in awareness hell. aware of the shame, locked down by the shame. I feel hopeful there is some light coming!!! Gotta keep moving forward.
I don’t know if anything I shared made any sense at all. I feel like I’m rambling. But if you read this. thank you! 🙂
marijketops · October 13, 2022 at 8:33 pm
<3
Nanou Anne · October 14, 2022 at 5:52 pm
beautiful when I notice the ones that were not allowed to speak or be seen, appear and speak in question 4