So thankful for this discussion. I often wonder when I should tell the truth about my actions, or skip it. I find it strange when people are in court and they are forced to swear to “tell the truth and nothing but the truth” – I see that as playing with lies. It’s stressful and ones I was in court, as a witness, I was so grateful for my bad memory; – and told the truth “I don’t remember and I don’t want to guess.”
When starting in 12 steps program (al-anon) 20 years ago I found the need to tell everybody everything (until then my life had been one big secret and shame) to free me of guilt and seeking for approval – hoping people find me still ok. A woman came to me after one meeting and said “YOU HAVE FULL RIGHT TO HAVE YOUR OWN PRIVATE LIFE” – thanks God for her! 🙂
I love what you share here, Helga! It reminds me of the motives behind our actions. I believe, that it’s not so much about telling or not, it’s indeed about WHY we feel the need to tell or not. Nothing wrong with doing things with the motive of wanting approval, and it might feel ‘off’ when we do this.
“Seeking love keeps you from the awareness that you already have it—that you are it.” ~ Byron Katie
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