I worked on the thought, If I feel fear,
that means tha means I am weak. I noticed how I treat that part of myself who is experiencing fear and it is internal violence. There is no room for compassion or love – I beat myself with a stick. I notice without the thought, I can move forward in a state of openness and I don’t scare myself with the future images and thoughts. The power of believing this thought is that is stops me from moving forward and taking the step I want to take. I noticed that I can follow the simple directions and I understood this more deeply. In my situation that meant pressing the button on m laptop to raise my virtual hand and then wait without being in a scary movie. I also noticed in the TAs how peaceful it was to be weak. If I feel fear, I am weak. Being identified with the identity of being strong is exhausting. There was such peace in being weak whatever that meant. I noticed that If I feel fear – I am simply experiencing what I label fear. I also noticed that I am strong when I feel feel as this feels like strength as I am not running away from it or shutting it down. It feel like I am really alive as I am at my highest state of awareness of myself. It feels like the highest level of intimacy with myself and I notice that this is what I want/crave. It feels like the most connected I can be is to be the witness of the fear in me and that is strong/strength. I experienced in my work that I did not want to miss a moment or drop out of being with me when the body is fearful. I was curious to stay till the end of the passing. This is so interesting to notice. I loved this exercise and inquiry.
1 Comment
Michelle · November 23, 2021 at 12:39 pm
I worked on the thought, If I feel fear,
that means tha means I am weak. I noticed how I treat that part of myself who is experiencing fear and it is internal violence. There is no room for compassion or love – I beat myself with a stick. I notice without the thought, I can move forward in a state of openness and I don’t scare myself with the future images and thoughts. The power of believing this thought is that is stops me from moving forward and taking the step I want to take. I noticed that I can follow the simple directions and I understood this more deeply. In my situation that meant pressing the button on m laptop to raise my virtual hand and then wait without being in a scary movie. I also noticed in the TAs how peaceful it was to be weak. If I feel fear, I am weak. Being identified with the identity of being strong is exhausting. There was such peace in being weak whatever that meant. I noticed that If I feel fear – I am simply experiencing what I label fear. I also noticed that I am strong when I feel feel as this feels like strength as I am not running away from it or shutting it down. It feel like I am really alive as I am at my highest state of awareness of myself. It feels like the highest level of intimacy with myself and I notice that this is what I want/crave. It feels like the most connected I can be is to be the witness of the fear in me and that is strong/strength. I experienced in my work that I did not want to miss a moment or drop out of being with me when the body is fearful. I was curious to stay till the end of the passing. This is so interesting to notice. I loved this exercise and inquiry.