I questioned, I am anxious and I had this thought today when I was pulling my washing out the washing machine. I noticed that I have a strong identity with the one who is anxious. It was interesting to notice how I react when I believe this thought. I try to stop being anxious and see it as a bad thing. It was also interesting to see what I like about it – how it serves me. I noticed it felt like Velcro – I am very identified with it – very close to it. I noticed that I felt very identified with the thought but felt a space between me and the anxiety I labelled in my stomach. The thought felt closer than close. Without the thought, I was experiencing a sensation. The TA I am peaceful pointed me to my true nature – the opposite of anxiety – the awareness that noticed the sensation. I became aware of my anxiety stories. Anxiety is bad, weak, not good, negative and so on. I have always seen anxiety as a bad thing yet I noticed that I use it to hide and as an excuse. I also use it for protection and as a point of safety. So good to explore. No label, no aniety, no story, no condemnation and no problem – girl empting washing machine.
I love that! “No label, no anxiety, no story, no condemnation and no problem – girl empting washing machine.”
This is an extraction from Katie’s book: Losing the moon
Friend: Katie, I woke up this morning in a space where there just seemed to be awareness, and then identification set in and as soon as that happened, intense fear arose. So as we’ve been sitting here, I’ve been doing The Work with the fear. And the first thing I asked was “What am I afraid of?“ And I couldn’t get an answer. There’s just this fear. And then I asked “What do I get for holding the belief in the fear?” What I get is a “me.” Okay, so the fear gives me a “me.” Then I asked, “Can I know that it’s true?” And that’s where the dropping into the heart won’t happen. It just sits here. Intellectually, I can see it; I have a host of teachings, yours included, running through me, but it’s just stuck.
Katie: I’m hearing the question. You’re labelling it fear, saying that it’s fear. Can you really that it’s true?
Friend: No, as soon as you said it, it was clear—
Katie: So there it is. It’s done. That was the first one and you skipped it. You went to a descendant. A little reincarnation there! You’re skipping a generation. It’s fear, ach! Labeling it fear without investigation is how it has all these lives. And that’s where psychology is born, in trying to find out what this fear is. Well, it’s nothing. Let’s just investigate it in the beginning. Go back to the beginning. And then there’s no need for psychology.
Friend: So when you said about fear, “Can you know that it’s true?” It went really fast—can we go through it again?
Katie: Okay. It’s fear. Is it true? Can you really know that it is fear?
Friend: What came up was, “It’s a sensation.”
Katie: Yes. And you label it an enemy. You label it “not natural.” It’s a sensation. So, now you can ask: “It’s a sensation—is it true?” Can you really know that?
Friend: The strongest thing that comes is “I don’t know.”
Katie: That’s my position. In that place, you’re back in that twilight you were describing—before the label of sensation and then labeling it fear, and on and on and on. This is a game! This is fun! This is not serious.
Oh whaow thank you so much for sharing! this This is truly amazing! I have never questioned its a sensation before and I see that I can go deeper into inquiry with this too! I see how Katie lost the moon! I really see how she lost the moon. It’s fear – Is it true? It’s a moon – Is it true? and that goes for every single object, feeling, sensation, thought, body, belief, on and on. I understand what she means by skipping the generation !!! We so deeply convincingly believe that it’s fear and we skip this. Thank you sooooooooooooo much for sharing this. I am going to read Losing the Moon again. I am super grateful for your effort in sharing this text.
I have a reference to when something very similar happened to me in my car with my husband some time ago. He started shouting at me when I was driving about something and I experienced fear in my stomach. I asked myself silently – Is this fear? Is it true? I was aware of the feeling which my attention was placed on in my stomach and it dissipated. I don’t know came up for me and I then experienced peace. I was totally with myself in this situation as I did not leave myself to attack my husband. I did not say a word back. A few minutes later in the car he apologised to me and I knew the universe shifted as I shifted. I had never experienced this before and I usually attack back.
I can see with your share of the above text that I can do this for anxiety which for some reason I have not considered questioning due to its convincing proof (in my mind). I have skipped a generation in this. Thank you my dear friend for walking me home to myself in this course through anxiety/God.
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