I can’t think of anything more heart opening than facilitating each other on a JYNW on one another. That someone who you are judging, is just sitting there, listening to you, allowing you to express yourself without interfering, is such a gift! And that I, being the facilitator, can listen to the other expressing themselves without interfering, while being aware of my hurt, slowly recognizing it’s all about their own perspective, is a life changing experience! What if I could live my whole life like this? What if I could connect to every human being this way, no matter what they say or do to me? This is The Work in action! Thank you so much, Cecilia, for our work together xxx
I worked on the thought: I need you Kim to be better organised in this class.
The situation was reading emails that I received around re-scheduling the last session.
TAs: I don’t need you Kim to be better organised in this class.
I need me to be better organised in this class.
I need you Kim to be exactly the way you are in this class.
I need my thoughts about you Kim to be better organised in this class.
I saw that believing this thought created a closed heart. Without the thought I experienced my heart soften. I was able to experience compassion for Kim and saw that she was doing the best that she could. Without the thought I was present sitting in the chair reading the emails and in my own business which felt kinder.
A childhood memory came up for me where I wanted to go back home from the woman’s refuge that I was living in with my mum and siblings – I did not like living in uncertainty and not knowing where we were going to live in the future
In this inquiry, I could see that everyone was doing the best that they could and that I was actually comfortable living in the refuge and that I would be fine whether Kim attended the session or not. I could see that whatever would be would be and that It would unfold the way it did.
The song kay sera sera came up for me. God speaks to me through songs.
I feel grateful for this exercise. I am grateful that Kim had to reschedule the last session and that I completed a JYNW on this situation, which I had the privilege of sharing with her. Having an opportunity to share my judgmental thoughts in this way feels intimate and i love this. The truth sets me free and when I speak it in this way, I feel free and my connection to others deepen. Thank you Kim xoxo
I remember when facilitating my Byron Katie mentor about a year ago, I discovered that every time I had the urge to “help” her, that there were two people in her inquiry ie. separation. And I experience the antidote that you, Marijke, have expressed above ie. allowing others to express themselves without interfering – experiencing their story and being aware of feelings arising (not labelling them either comfortable or uncomfortable.) And connecting with every human being this way no matter what they say or do to me, such connection – knowing it’s only their story about me. Thank you Marijke. So beautiful.
And Michelle – “I could see that everyone was doing the best that they could” – thank you for reminding me of the compassion when I remember this.
Line 1: I am jealous of you, Marijke, because you have your shit together and I don’t.
You, Marijke, have your shit together.
What is my proof that you, Marijke, have your shit together?
The words out of your mouth are not proof
If I listen to what is really going on behind your words, tune in to the feelings and needs behind your words, they could be proof that I have my shit together. They could be proof of connectedness.
In Q3, I find that there is anger
Do I play the role of that angry person?
It feels like I have a choice either to diffuse the anger or allow the anger to come out
I am being dreamed. I am being thought. I have not one iota of control (Katie)
I am the one that doesn’t perceive/experience anger, that doesn’t need inquiry
I identify with the one that is doing, that does need inquiry
It’s always my own story which I’m projecting onto you
4 Comments
marijketops · April 11, 2022 at 12:45 pm
I can’t think of anything more heart opening than facilitating each other on a JYNW on one another. That someone who you are judging, is just sitting there, listening to you, allowing you to express yourself without interfering, is such a gift! And that I, being the facilitator, can listen to the other expressing themselves without interfering, while being aware of my hurt, slowly recognizing it’s all about their own perspective, is a life changing experience! What if I could live my whole life like this? What if I could connect to every human being this way, no matter what they say or do to me? This is The Work in action! Thank you so much, Cecilia, for our work together xxx
Michelle · April 12, 2022 at 12:01 am
I worked on the thought: I need you Kim to be better organised in this class.
The situation was reading emails that I received around re-scheduling the last session.
TAs: I don’t need you Kim to be better organised in this class.
I need me to be better organised in this class.
I need you Kim to be exactly the way you are in this class.
I need my thoughts about you Kim to be better organised in this class.
I saw that believing this thought created a closed heart. Without the thought I experienced my heart soften. I was able to experience compassion for Kim and saw that she was doing the best that she could. Without the thought I was present sitting in the chair reading the emails and in my own business which felt kinder.
A childhood memory came up for me where I wanted to go back home from the woman’s refuge that I was living in with my mum and siblings – I did not like living in uncertainty and not knowing where we were going to live in the future
In this inquiry, I could see that everyone was doing the best that they could and that I was actually comfortable living in the refuge and that I would be fine whether Kim attended the session or not. I could see that whatever would be would be and that It would unfold the way it did.
The song kay sera sera came up for me. God speaks to me through songs.
I feel grateful for this exercise. I am grateful that Kim had to reschedule the last session and that I completed a JYNW on this situation, which I had the privilege of sharing with her. Having an opportunity to share my judgmental thoughts in this way feels intimate and i love this. The truth sets me free and when I speak it in this way, I feel free and my connection to others deepen. Thank you Kim xoxo
Cecilia Hollick · April 12, 2022 at 1:10 pm
I remember when facilitating my Byron Katie mentor about a year ago, I discovered that every time I had the urge to “help” her, that there were two people in her inquiry ie. separation. And I experience the antidote that you, Marijke, have expressed above ie. allowing others to express themselves without interfering – experiencing their story and being aware of feelings arising (not labelling them either comfortable or uncomfortable.) And connecting with every human being this way no matter what they say or do to me, such connection – knowing it’s only their story about me. Thank you Marijke. So beautiful.
And Michelle – “I could see that everyone was doing the best that they could” – thank you for reminding me of the compassion when I remember this.
Cecilia Hollick · April 12, 2022 at 1:16 pm
Line 1: I am jealous of you, Marijke, because you have your shit together and I don’t.
You, Marijke, have your shit together.
What is my proof that you, Marijke, have your shit together?
The words out of your mouth are not proof
If I listen to what is really going on behind your words, tune in to the feelings and needs behind your words, they could be proof that I have my shit together. They could be proof of connectedness.
In Q3, I find that there is anger
Do I play the role of that angry person?
It feels like I have a choice either to diffuse the anger or allow the anger to come out
I am being dreamed. I am being thought. I have not one iota of control (Katie)
I am the one that doesn’t perceive/experience anger, that doesn’t need inquiry
I identify with the one that is doing, that does need inquiry
It’s always my own story which I’m projecting onto you
Thank you Marijke for enabling these realisations