I have not shared my thoughts and feelings about feeling shame in the moments during class when I was feeling them.
Lovingly looked at my shame around sex and attraction, money and privilege, my body, my parenting, my not feeling good enough, feeling wrong all the time… my perfectionism.
Opened my eyes and awareness to how shame operates in my life.
Practiced being without the shame and having a felt sense of being acceptable and loved.
Looked at specific situations in my memory where I continue to feel shameful and unacceptable and unravel the grip shame has on me in those memories.
Thank you for sharing, Rachael. I love how specific you are <3
Hello Rachael, so nice to listen to your invitations. I suppose your first line still needs to be turned around.
Wow, well I guess shame operates in sneaky ways. I wanted to make sure I did it right – writing my response that is. I was not clear on whether I was to post the list here – the list of things I must do or not do to have a successful course, my turn arounds! I was about to email Marijke for clarification and I realized I was afraid to just jump in because I might feel SHAME if I did it wrong. I am realizing I feel shame around just about everything.
I can related to Rachael’s comments of body, sex, not being good enough, too priviledged. I reject what I have because I don’t think i deserve it. Who am I to……….(fill in the blank). What if I don’t go deep enough and unravel ALL the shame. What if I do something wrong – say something wrong – what if I’m not vulnerable enough? I hide behind so much shame and I want to be free. I want to hold nothing back in this workship, but I hold a LOT back every day. Afraid to show up, express myself. Who am I without shame?
My GOD my whole vision is clouded by shame. Can I have an identity and exsit without it? I am scared and excited to delve into this topic. Right now I’m thinking – this workshop isn’t going to be long enough!
I have recently had memories of things I have done I wish I would not have – shame is there. It’s everywhere, it feels overwhelming. I look forward to making some progress on this subject that is so prevalent in the West and possibly everywhere.
Such honesty and vulnerability in your post, Kim. Thank you for sharing <3
Hello Kim, I am loving turning your thoughts around:
– I might not feel shame if I did it wrong / I might feel glorious or proud if I did it wrong
– What if I do go deep enough and unravel ALL the shame?
– What if I do nothing wrong – say nothing wrong?
– What if I’m vulnerable just the right amount? / What if I am not guarded enough?
These are the TA for what I’ve done or not done to feel this way (unsatisfied):
– I listened without judgement
– I trusted the participants
– I spend a lot of time doing the homework
– I was honest and authentic
Beautiful list, Helga. Thank you for sharing.
Hello Helga, I feel like turning your list to the self
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