The thoughts that came up when writing my shameful thoughts list:
1. I’m bad
3.I’ll be punished by people if I don’t hide those thoughts
4. If people find out they will judge me and leave me
5.I must change myself – be kinder
6. I hate myself for those thoughts
7. I should be ashamed of myself
8. I’m not save with those thoughts – might tell someone; seeking understanding and acceptance and then regret it
9. God knows my mind – he’ll punish me to teach me a lesson
Very precious to notice the mind talk going on! Beautiful concepts to take to inquiry. And we will as this workshop continues.
Powerful list of proof that would lead me to use a lot of energy not to meet the thought
The situation I deemed shameful had 14 different shameful thoughts associated with it. I found that as I wrote them out, the next one seemed “deeper” than the one before. There also seemed to be a “key” thought that enveloped all the others – the rest were an offshoot or residual of one that really packed a punch if that makes any sense.
I may have shared this in class but I was so shocked that the situation I deemed shameful, wasn’t where the shame was – it was everything my mind DID with that one situation. It really put me on tilt. And it really took the edge off and made me more curious about unpacking the baggage in my mind!
I’ll be honest- I’ve been avoiding looking at my shameful list all week even though I knew I had this HW assignment to do. It’s hard to look sometimes. Going to look and count how many I found now. I wrote 26 shameful thoughts. Looking actually wasn’t as hard as i thought it was going to be. It felt ok to see they were just words on a paper. Thoughts and concepts that I’d labeled as scary but weren’t.
Hello Rachael, look at you going back to your list even though it was hard!
It looks like you have found a nest. Imagine that, all of them in the same place.
That was for Kim
I am noticing that I can be ashamed of who I am, or ashamed of my body and on top of that, ashamed of having such thoughts.
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